A Twist in the Maggie Story
Monday, June 22, 2009:
Seneca has been friends with Maggie for seven-and-a-half years. He broke ties with Maggie 6-8 weeks ago due to her continued refusal to accept in-patient rehab.
But then Lucky moved in with Seneca.
During a phone conversation with Maggie wherein she was begging for help, Seneca restated that he would only take her to Haymarket for immediate admission or to the Women’s Treatment Center for acceptance at 5:30 am the very next morning. Lucky seized the phone from him, invited Maggie over, and announced that she could save Maggie if he couldn’t.
Like Seneca, Lucky is a dreamer.
Maggie and Lucky have become good friends and Maggie is back in Seneca’s life a little. Lucky found Maggie to be quite likable, as he does.
Maggie is a crackhead/junkie. She has been married fourteen years and has never secured a divorce. She had three kids with the guy and two other kids with two other guys. At one time, she loved her husband very much.
When Seneca withdrew support from Maggie yet again 6-8 weeks ago, Maggie’s children attempted a reconciliation with her husband, their father. It was partly, but not fully, successful.
Maggie found her husband dead on the floor of his apartment early Saturday morning, June 20. She administered CPR to no avail.
There are warrants out for Maggie’s arrest, so she cannot be present when police are around. To her credit, she called the paramedics, then fled when the ambulance arrived soon to be followed by the police.
The guy had three kids with Maggie and also had another child with a teen-ager. That other child is a baby. Like Maggie, he was in his late 30’s.
Cause of death is a drug overdose.
Maggie lost her dad to a drug overdose when she was four and her dad was twenty-four. Maggie’s mom’s drug of choice is alcohol.
We can all indulge in our vices for a time, sometimes a very long time, but not forever.
The Mika Illusion Bursts
Fiona
Tuesday, June 16, 2009:
Seneca has not seen Mika, age 23, since September of 2007 when he took her to South Beach. It’s been twenty-one months.
She lives five hours north of Chicago. She is prevented from leaving her home state to visit Illinois by the terms of her probation. Seneca has chosen not to visit her because he’s been unsure of her dating life. Is there someone special in her life and would Seneca interfere?
The relationship has continued to be close because of her twice-daily phone calls. Her second call is just before she falls asleep.
They have pretended that they are in a relationship with one another, each never asking if the other is dating or why the other doesn’t answer a phone call. She is the most special of women, and Seneca has loved the fantasy that they really will be together someday. Back home with her son and family, she has turned her life around.
When she made the comment that the longest she’s ever gone without sex is six months, Seneca did not question her. Of course, it’s been much longer since he’s seen her.
On Friday, June 5, he noticed she was stressed and that there was a change in her voice. She wasn’t feeling well.
Seneca: “Honey, are you pregnant?”
Mika: “I DON’T EVEN HAVE SEX!”
Seneca admits that her response was music to his ears.
As her stress continued into the next week and she didn’t feel well, he urged her to see a doctor. During the week, he again asked if she was pregnant. He just had a feeling. He received her same answer in the negative. The doctor’s appointment was set for Monday, June 15.
Fiona
She did not return his phone calls on the day of the appointment. Seneca knew something was up!
When she didn’t return his calls most of the day Tuesday, Seneca knew there was a problem. She finally called at 5:00 pm Tuesday.
But she couldn’t talk. The words just couldn’t come out of her mouth. Finally, she started crying.
She’s pregnant!
She has gotten drunk with a certain guy in a bar twice in the last six months. Like most American girls, she finds it easy to have sex when drunk.
She is on birth control. In addition, she supposedly used a condom. It all failed.
She will have the baby. She already has a five-year-old son.
She will not tell the father he has a baby coming. She has no feelings for the guy. She does not want him to be meddling in her life as does the father of her five-year-old son.
To Seneca, she’s still the best!
Fiona
Darkness
porcelain heart 41 by P3T3R KURT3N GROUPI3
Saturday, June 6, 2009:
It is 5:30 am. Lucky and Seneca have been up all night drinking brandy with Seneca listening to her stories of pain and abuse. She’s drunk.
As Seneca leaves her room, she arises and places both of her hands on her desk so as to lean forward, exposing full cleavage. She imperceptibly shakes her chest, causing her breasts to come alive with movement. She watches Seneca’s face for evidence that the desired effect has been accomplished. Knowing full-well how she uses her body to control, Seneca still accepts a tender kiss.
Every part of her body and face are perfect, masking the imperfection of her interior. Her destruction has been brought to its pinnacle by her recent brief profession as a high-dollar internet escort. The profession has left her with additional emotional scars and some physical maladies. One of them, to which she has over-reacted, has shaken her to her core.
This destruction has been preceded by severe sexual abuse as a child, destroying her. She’s not even aware of how destructive what happened to her is, yet the abuse still prevents her from having a healthy life.
Lucky: “Who else is a man supposed to f*ck when his wife won’t have sex with him?”
Seneca: “Not his own child, honey. Not his own child.”
Her Eastern European village was impoverished. She often did not have enough to eat. Her only asset was perfection of form. She has lived by that asset to this day.
By 7:00 am, Seneca hears thrashing and wailing from her bedroom. Although she cannot talk, only scream, he is able to determine that she thinks spirits are crawling all over her body. She sometimes sees those spirits on Seneca, and punches him in the face and kicks him in the balls. An hour later, Seneca is finally able to achieve full calmness by holding her very tightly and yelling at her that his power has driven the spirits off.
By 8:00 am, she appears to be sleeping calmly.
She is drug-free, but not alcohol-free.
She has never had girlfriends.
Previous boyfriends are not willing to help her in her time of need, but are willing to continue to use her body.
She does have a sister in America, but cannot visit her. Her brother-in-law will beat Lucky in order to cause her to stay away.
She feels totally alone and worthless.
She’s not alone.
She’s not worthless.
Reena and Lida
Thursday, June 4, 2009:
The 19-year-old’s, Reena, Lida, and J-Rock, moved out weeks ago.
Reena moved back with her mother at her mother’s insistence. She very much wants to move back in with Seneca. Although her mother is very controlling and is driving Reena crazy, Seneca prefers that Reena receive the control and love of her mother as opposed to moving back in with him. Seneca’s character is such that he cannot give boundaries to his roommates, which 19-year-old’s do need. Reena insists on moving back in with Seneca for a few days each week. Maybe she will.
Lida moved in with her 31-year-old boyfriend. Things are not going well. She is exploring moving back in with Seneca. Today she said that living with Seneca and Reena was the most perfect time of her life. Seneca feels the same about that time. Reena also seems to think so.
J-Rock moved in with a 28-year-old drug dealer. That is supposedly going well. Although Seneca has great affection for J-Rock, he does not wish her to return. She’s just too wild, even for Seneca.
Unlike living with the other recent roommates (Sandy, Maggie, and Lucky), living with Reena and Lida did seem magical. The relationships with the two were non-sexual, of course. They’re so young!
Seneca indeed became the father to these two almost-fatherless girls. He was dedicated to their education and to their following the right path. There is something entirely satisfying and wholesome about devoting oneself to these two girls.
Relationships with Lucky, Maggie, and Sandy included sex and, for two of them, fighting heroin addictions. The relationships never seemed wholesome or right, in spite of their intensity.
Hopefully, Lida will return and Reena might be here half-time. Hopefully, Seneca will be able to separate from Lucky, in spite of her perfect body which she ever-so-willingly offers. That separation may be difficult to complete.
The Journey continues…..
Happy Birthday, Baby!
Grand Obsessions iv by retrodiva88
Thursday, June 4, 2009:
A man never loses by loving.
He loses by holding back.
Today is Adriana’s 22nd birthday.
She has not responded to Seneca’s text message of today which included the words:
“You are still the BEST, and I still love you.”
Seneca has not heard from her since November 5, 2008. He must accept her decision. He cannot believe that they are not together.
A rereading of the Adriana stories has shown him the path.
He must continue self-improvement. The pumping iron has been going well. Returning to school this summer always centers him.
In addition, he must give up the sensual charms of Lucky and help her on her journey. That will be a separate journey from Seneca’s.
He will immerse himself in the Black Ensemble Theater this weekend, seeing three shows. That always raises his spirits.
Adriana, I miss you so much!
Spirited and Dysfunctional
Sasha
Thursday, June 4, 2009:
Seneca and Lucky are having their morning coffee on the patio next to the pool. Lucky is talking to her mother on the phone, and Seneca is under orders to keep quiet so her mother doesn’t ask with whom she’s living.
Travis, about thirty yards away, yells a greeting. Seneca, forgetting the gag order, yells “good morning” to his buddy. Now remembering the order of silence, Seneca slumps down in his seat, awaiting Lucky’s wrath.
Although Lucky’s a 27-year-old absolutely-gorgeous hottie, shes extremely insecure. She thinks Seneca has slumped in his seat in order to avoid being seen with her.
Lucky, glaring: “MY MOTHER HEARD YOU! Why do you disrespect me?”
Seneca: “That’s my buddy Travis. I just returned his greeting, not even thinking.”
Lucky, implying she is valued less than the one Seneca greeted: “Who’s Travis? Some maintenance worker?”
Seneca: “He’s a leasing agent for the complex.”
Lucky: “You continue to disrespect me. Yesterday was so perfect, now this. You can’t go more than a day without disrespecting me!”
Lucky recites a litany of similar offenses Seneca has committed over the three weeks they’ve lived together. Seneca asserts she has misinterpreted them all. Seneca is particularly upset over the alleged offenses in which she refuses to tell him what he’s done.
The fighting intensifies. Lucky calls Joe, a supposedly non-sexual boyfriend, to pick her up. Joe doesn’t answer. Seneca explodes.
Seneca: “What the f*ck are you doing? You don’t call some f*ckin’ boyfriend when you and I are fighting! You stay here and work it out!”
Lucky: “I DON’T F*CK HIM!!! He calms me down when you act like an asshole!”
The fighting moves from the patio into the living room. The two face one another about ten feet apart, with Lucky spewing venom. Working herself up, she removes a shoe and cocks her arm to throw it at Seneca. Seneca ducks. The shoe bounces off the side of his head.
Lucky chases Seneca into a hall and corners him. The other shoe is ready to be hurled at his head at close range. He grabs the shoe and throws it across the room, out of her reach.
Seneca is livid over the fact that his supposed girlfriend runs out with Joe when they fight.
Seneca: “Move in with Joe! He provides you with what you need!”
Lucky: “I DON’T F*CK HIM!”
Seneca: “You’re not running out on me with some guy when we fight. You need to move out of here.”
Lucky: “Give me 2-3 weeks.”
Seneca: “Okay.”
But she probably won’t move out! The two fight fiercely and often. At the time, the breakup seems real and certain.
The next day, the makeup is tender and the sex is intense.
Seneca feels that this type of relationship is destructive, but he’s getting addicted.
The Moonlight Gambler writes (edited):
“These types of relationships are about people who need the illusion of the air being cleared between them to function well sexually.
The fighting may not be “on point” in terms of issues developing between them (it’s usually not), but the temporary release of tension in the relationship serves to reduce the baseline conflict level, at least temporarily.
It may seem dysfunctional, but it is in fact an adaptive mechanism that works well temporarily when certain personality types intersect.
When relationships like this exist with frequent repetition over time, the fighting is often provoked by a partner with narcisstic tendencies in response to a partner’s passive-aggressive responses to their demands for attention and approbation.
When this is only an infrequent, though cyclic, feature of the relationship, it is usually a symbolic clearing of the air that gives the partners permission to avoid focusing on more intransigent and insoluble issues.”
Seneca responds to the Moonlight Gambler’s statement by stating that the “more intransigent and insoluble issues” are two:
First, Lucky demands Seneca’s monogamy, without pledging hers, perhaps even flaunting her lack of it.
Second, she refuses to admit that her dating others results in a less intense relationship with Seneca, and that less intensity results in a lesser devotion to her and to her future.
A Reputation Precedes Him
Sasha
Sunday, May 31, 2009:
Lucky and Seneca are talking of previous experiences. She leans close to him and says quietly:
Lucky: “Mike, can I tell you something?”
Seneca, fearful of what is about to be said: “Sure, honey.”
Lucky: “I once kissed a black man.”
Seneca, with a soft chuckle: “That doesn’t bother me, honey.”
Lucky: “It was in college. I loved the fullness of his lips. I just had to kiss them. His touch filled me with fire. I’ve never been aroused like that before!”
Seneca: “Part of the reason is that he is forbidden fruit. Did you f*ck him?”
Lucky: “No. I was worried his dick was too big and it would hurt me!”
Seneca: “Did you check?”
Lucky: “No! All black men have big dicks!”
Seneca: “No, honey. On the average, they’re bigger, but there is a range of sizes.”
Fortunately for Seneca, she’s lost the guy’s phone number.
