The lovely Sara, age 19, if that’s her real name, if these are her real photos, seems to be a scam artist operating in northwest Indiana. She asks lovesick gentlemen to wire her $5,400 for the purchase of a car.
Sara
Seneca saw the below ad on Craigslist and was quite taken with it. He finally received a response to his email six days later, and the woman has interest. He is beginning correspondence with the woman.
Reply to: pers-9535@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-12-11, 1:11AM CST
I am a vibrant, sensual, passionate woman.
I understand the need to have someone worship your body, mind, and soul.
I know that a man needs to be appreciated for who he is and what he has to offer in his heart……..and his body.
I’m looking for one guy who needs a woman to accept all of him……..not to marry him, or interfere with his life outside of our bedroom. I want to be a mistress, a lover, the person that sucks your cock and f*cks you to exhaustion.
I want to be the woman you take out all of your longings and desires on. Wear me out with your passion, and let me share your disappointments …….. your achievements…….. your self.
Let me make up for all of those days you didn’t get what you wanted. I have so much to give you. I want to give it to someone…..if you want to feel again. Maybe I can be the one to take care of you.
I’m looking for just one man. Are you the one?
Result – A photo of the woman reveals her to be very large. Correspondence with her demonstrates that one may enjoy her company on a hourly basis at a rate normal for such activities. Seneca chose to not make the honor of her acquaintance.
Seneca sees the following ad in Craigslist:
Ok, this has just gone long enough. I told you I no longer care about what happened. Please understand my reaction was impulsive and I was acting with no information from you.
The last few days have been hell. Can’t stop thinking about you. I miss you more than I ever thought I would. Your pride has put us both through this suffering.
Forget about what happened and let’s give ourselves another chance, baby. We could be having so much fun together now…
Seneca’s response to the ad is as follows:
If you’re willing to forget that I said your little sister, the one with the D cups, is better in the sack than you are……..
and if you’re willing to forget that I think your mom is way better than your little sister (the one with the D cups)……..
and if you can try to forget that I said your dad is unbelievable, way better than your mom or little sister……..
then I too am willing to forget and come back.
Mike
PS – I was joking about your Golden Retriever.
Seneca responded on Craigslist to a woman offering cleaning services. His ad follows:
Hi,
Please call Mike at xxx-xxx-xxxx. I need you for about four hours.
You will help me straighten out the place. We must unpack boxes and take much to the trash bin, which is indoors. No outside work!
Don’t let me scare you. The work is light.
For your safety concerns, I want you to know that I live with three women, ages 19, 28, and 31. I give them free rent. I now think it’s because I have a screw loose.
In spite of the free rent, they help with nothing, but they do allow me to pay for their food and shelter and to be their taxi-cab. I’m so thankful!
Do they have sex with me? You gotta be kidding! I never knew celibacy was so much in vogue!
When you’re here, one or two will be here watching you and me work. They’ll feel guilty, and will make half-hearted requests to help.
There is little public transportation out here. I can pick you up when I take one of them to get their nails done. Okay! Okay! I do pay to get Reena’s nails done because she’s so cute, but that’s besides the point!
Mike
Seneca cannot believe that Caron saw the ad and immediately knew it was him. She called at 3:30 pm.
The below ad appeared in Chicago’s Craigslist on November 17, 2008 at 5:24PM CST in the “Women Seeking Men” part of the Personals section.
Yes, Seneca’s reading of Craigslist does imply irreconcilable differences with Sandy.
Yes, cough….. cough….., Seneca did respond to the ad in spite of the fact that the woman posting the ad forgot to guarantee the involvement of her younger sister, the one with the larger breasts.
The ad follows:
If I had a boyfriend……..
I would make him dinner every night and give him a BJ before and after dinner. Then again in the morning and do it all over again every day with a smile on my face.
Is that too much to ask for? :)-
If you are a SWM, please reply. Non-smokers please. Please be at least 35.
This post was in Chicago Craigslist on 03/29/2008 under “women seeking men”. The actual title of the post was “Breakup Lesson #1 – Don’t f*ck with someone who has naked pics of you”. The author writes of intense love, intense hurt, and American life. The post begins (edited for clarity and brevity):
Six years!!!
Six motherf*cking years!!!
What the hell???
I had always figured we’d work it out.!!!
I chalked up your alcoholism, selfishness, infidelity, lying, and depression to personality quirks that would work themselves out as you matured, despite the obvious contention that you had four years on me. I genuinely loved you and, despite everything, I know you loved me too. I think I’ve learned that, while you can’t control who you love, you sure as hell can control whether or not you allow yourself to stay with them.
But six years, kid!!!
That’s really what pisses me off the most.
And we’re not talking just any six years.
19 – 25.
(Seneca – He goes on to talk about the hotties he could have had.)
Where is your character?
You’re coming up fast on 30…..
You still drink until you pass out on the weekends. Your writing has been suffering and quickly sliding downhill for nearly two years now. You haven’t been published in 6 months. You’re starting to look weathered and rapidly approaching the stereotypical “bar whore” look. Honestly, I’m not saying this to hurt you.
Granted I’m pissed!!!
I really am!!!
IN MY F*CKING BED???
Seriously?
You have your own f*cking place!
What was it, for the thrill?
And then you have the nerve to call me an animal when I take a few swings at the guy after he threatens me in my own home? I bet he didn’t seem quite so sexy laying on the floor of my bedroom, crying about calling the police while holding his broken nose.
Nice choice in men! Gives me a reason to do some self-reflection. And you wonder why I would never f*ck you without a condom….
This life you’ve chosen - it’s beyond destructive. And I feel sorry for you. I truly hope you get it together one day.
You’re talented, beautiful, and deep, deep, deep, deep down…..somewhat of a decent person.
But as for us???
Not a chance!!!
(Seneca – He makes friend and property demands, then…)
Because, despite all the craziness, we were extremely compatible in the bedroom. And hell, dare I go out on a limb and admit that maybe you were even just a tad kinkier than me? No doubt your subconscious recognized the fact that I was the more trustworthy of the two, and hence the logic behind myself being the “keeper” of our visual record of our bedroom activities - thousands of them.
Oddly enough, most of them are of you or of the two of us. I’m the one more comfortable with my body. I could give a shit if one of your friends sees my my cock or my ass. Hell, if I get drunk enough one night, they might just see it anyway! I know Amy has been bugging you for a threesome for years. Something tells me she might just be a phone call away!!!
(Seneca – More demands and evidence of his hurt, then…….)
Good luck to you kid.
Hope you get it together.
Seneca adds:
Good luck to you, my brother.
May your wounds be healed.
The following post appeared in Chicago Craigslist on 07/17/2008 under “women seeking men”: The post begins (edited for clarity and brevity):
I’m bringing the drama.
I’ve got large cases of baggage. I need anger management classes. I throw tantrums (I need a spanking (timeouts won’t help)).
I drink socially and am a non-smoker. I’m not fat but could go to the gym more often. I pay my membership, don’t go.
I’m disgruntled at work and have roadrage on the streets. I’m so pretty that I get away with all of it by just faking a smile and laughing it off. No one knows I’m only half as angry as I appear to be because I’m such a great actress and I show well…
I’m looking for a go-getter, a take-charge kinda guy, to help me stop procrastinating and being pissed off because I procrastinated……. You gotta be my better half, cause my half is really sucking right now…… Don’t want your money, just your heart and soul……
PS - NO PERVERTS!! That means you….
