The Girls Have Had It Rough

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point by p3t3r kurt3n groupi3
Sunday, March 1, 2009:

I have great affection for the three 19-year-olds.

Tonight, the one with rapes by multiple men while underage, sometimes very underage, curled up in a padded armchair and cried.  I wonder if the rapists know what they did to this kid?

Another of the teens, this one the most emotionally developed, joined me in gently talking to the crying teen.  We attempted to genuinely react with love to her stated problems and immense insecurities.  Within a half-hour, the crying teen was able to feel strong family-type support.

Of course, her problems were not solved.

Of course, I worry that she will never function normally.

She is under professional care and is medicated.  I know I’m the amateur.

I do get strong affection from these kids.  We do have our ups-and-downs.  Sometimes the fights are severe, but we do seem to be getting closer as the weeks move on.

This is not a paradise of nice people working together.  Sometimes I am attacked viciously for being male.  They do know how to get to me and to my insecurities.  Sometimes I am not trusted because I am male.  Sometimes I am thrown into depression, for I don’t know the answer to the despair.

When I’m out of answers, I turn to Aristotle, other ancient Greeks, and to the cultural evolutionists.  They seem to like that.

They really seem to be worth whatever effort it takes.  I acknowledge that someone like me will probably have little impact, as these kids have really been f*cked-over.  Perhaps my role is to give them safety and security for this segment of their journey.

The demon-males who rape these children for their own sick pleasure do not care about the lives they destroy.  The do not care about the years and years of pain and suffering they cause.

I cannot predict recovery or improvement for the girls.  I can only state that they’ll be respected and safe while they live here.

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plains by p3t3r kurt3n groupi3
Published in:  on March 3, 2009 at 2:00 am Leave a Comment

Trembling

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“Chloe Park” from TitusPowell.com
Monday, March 6, 2009:

The girls now living here include Reena, Lida, and J-Rock.  All are age 19 and were born within a four-day period in 1989.  Sandy, nine years older, will return after rehab or after the halfway house.

J-Rock will be here each week for long weekends.  It may expand to her moving totally in.  She may be the most beautiful, as the girls complain she gets her choice of the boys they meet.

J-Rock is 5′ 10″ with a perfect young and innocent face.  Her legs are truly beautiful.  Her body is slender and her breasts are fat.

What I love best about J-Rock is her vulnerability.  A man just wants to protect her.  I also love her dancing.  She even dances in the car – so sexy!  Arms outstretched, body swaying, hands moving in time to the music!

All three 19-year-olds are stunning.  I cannot look at them for fear of staring.  I do not want to embarrass myself.

Saturday night at 11:00 pm, the three left to go clubbing.  Before departing, Lida walked into my room and asked how she looked.  My jaw dropped and I gasped “GEEZUS!!!”.  I don’t know if I’d ever seen anyone that beautiful.  Having had the desired effect on me, she softly smiled, turned, and left.

Today I told Reena what happened.  She said she and J-Rock would have had the same effect on me.  I believe her.

Something happened this evening.

Lida was ready for a date and was waiting for the guy to pick her up.  I was leaning against a counter in the kitchen drinking juice.  Lida hopped on the counter to talk to me, but invaded my space.    She was wearing just normal jeans and a top, but her face and hair were just perfect.  I couldn’t believe how she overwhelmed me!

I avoided looking at her as best I could, and moved away.  She jumped off the counter and again moved to a spot very near me.  I began trembling.  I’ve never done that before.

I didn’t think she was real.  She was just too perfect to look at.  She was a divinity.  I couldn’t function.  My trembling almost turned into shaking.

I avoided looking at her and took a chair in the living room.  Fortunately, she did not follow.

I don’t know what happened.  I do not have a crush on any of them.  I am not crazed with sexual attraction toward any of them.  Maybe J-Rock a little, because she’s new.  I’ll get over that.

Lida didn’t seem to be Lida, but a divine being of perfect form.

I trembled.

Published in:  on at 1:02 am Leave a Comment

She’s Comin’ Home

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Daniella Lugosi 1 by P3T3R KURT3N GROUPI3
Daniella Lugosi on MySpace
Thursday, February 26, 2009:

Sandy’s white and gorgeous, age 28.

She was born to a streetwalker hooked on cocaine.  Her Mom is now a crack ho.  Dad was a drunk and disappeared.  She has no family whom she knows to be a non-addict.

She was repeatedly raped by her uncle at age 9.  The rapes continued for some time.  It made her feel worthless.  She felt as if she was not in control of her own body.  She wasn’t.

She turned her first trick at the age of 13.  By the age of 14, she had quit school and had become a full-time prostitute.

At the age of 18, she was pulling in big bucks for a pimp in Las Vegas.  Johns were overjoyed to be with such an exquisitely-formed youngster, and threw money at her.  They never thought about what caused her to be an escort at such a young age.

“Hey, it ain’t my problem! She’s done a ton of guys before me. What’s one more!”

Sandy needed drugs to face the next john and to make it through the night.  She believed her value was in her body and in the quality of her blowjobs as reported in the review boards.  She had no other value.  Yes, her blowjobs are rated highly, thanks for asking.

Last year, Joe brought her over to meet Seneca.

Joe: “Mike, she had a crack-induced heart attack three months ago.  She was actually dead for a minute or two.  She’s got no family and nowhere to go.  Please take her in.”

Seneca: “Honey, are you off crack?”

Sandy: “Yeah”

Seneca: “Are you sure?”

Sandy:  “Do you think I’d risk another heart attack?”

In the crack world, Maggie is well-known, so Seneca asks:

Seneca: “Do you know Maggie?”

Sandy:  “No”

Seneca: “You sure?  Do you know Ace’s Maggie?”

Sandy:  “ACE’S MAGGIE!!!   Everyone knows Ace’s Maggie!”

Seneca: “Yeah, she’s lived here on-and-off for a couple of years total.”

Seneca’s heart plummets, as only the very wrong girls know Maggie.

Seneca: “Okay, move in.”

She wasn’t lying.  She really had given up crack.

Seneca didn’t think to ask her about heroin.

She didn’t need to go home and pack.  All she had were the clothes on her back.

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Daniella Lugosi 1 by P3T3R KURT3N GROUPI3
Daniella Lugosi on MySpace

The relationship faltered when the drug use and the quality of her friends became apparent.  Seneca wanted her to leave.

Seneca, sometimes yelling: “Honey, you love to f*ck that scumbag dealer-pimp, so go live with him.  I ain’t gonna shelter you, feed you, and be your non-stop taxi-cab so you can be with that scumbag.   LET HIM TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!”

Sandy:  ”Mike, I wanna live with you.  I don’t wanna live with him.”

Seneca: “GET THE F*CK OUT OF HERE!!!”

She would go on a heroin binge with the scumbags, then return broke a few days later.

Sandy:  “Mike, please take me back.  I promise to get into rehab!”

She always failed to get into rehab, and the fighting and her eviction would reoccur.

Seneca came to not like her.  She was a breathing corpse, sleeping non-stop, arising to go suck some guy’s dick.  It was difficult to connect with her.  She showed no emotion and never cried.

Seneca: “Honey, when all this stuff happens to you, you never get upset.  Why?”

Sandy:  “I’m used to it.  I expect to get pushed around.  That’s my life.  I never cry.”

Finally, she got into in-patient de-tox and rehab courtesy of the County of DuPage.  Overjoyed, Seneca washed his hands of her, and hoped to never hear from her again.

He hopes she learns to cry.

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Daniella Lugosi 1 by P3T3R KURT3N GROUPI3
Daniella Lugosi on MySpace

Last night, the phone rings.

Seneca: “How was de-tox?  Were your joints in severe pain?”

Sandy:  “It was bad, but they gave me some medication.  I’m on suboxone now.  Mike, I get out mid-March.  I got nowhere to go.  Please help me.”

Seneca: “Are you going back to the business?”

Sandy: “Mike, I cannot face a john without using drugs.  I cannot go back.”

Seneca notices a difference.  She is able to respond in conversation.  For a change, someone seems to be home.  He finds it difficult to turn a severely abused woman down.

Seneca: “I’ll talk to the girls, honey.”

The girls are three 19-year-olds.  All were raped prior to becoming teenagers.  One was raped by five different men before the age of 18.  She is somewhat non-reality-based and somewhat non-functional.  What kind of world do we live in?

Two are former strippers.

Two are under psychiatric care courtesy of the County of DuPage.

All were heavily into drugs, alcohol, and sex.  All have decided to rebuild and have totally given up drugs, drink moderately, and are somewhat close to the norm in sexual activity.  Two are going to the College of DuPage.  The third is thinking of it.

All are joined at the hip, having been born within a four day period in 1989.  They went through the same high school together.  They come as a package.

Immense, overwhelming insecurity has caused each to ensure her body is perfect.  I mean really perfect.  In addition, their hair, nails, suntans, and makeup are always exceptionally well-done.  They are stunning to look at.

It’s not heaven here.  Seneca and the one who was raped five times do fight frequently.  She is gifted at it.  Maybe he is too.  But they get through it, and really do care about one another.

Seneca does not touch the 19-year-olds.  Not even close.  Any attempt on one would destroy the close relationships with all three.  No sexual pleasure is worth that.

Two of the 19-year-olds lived with Seneca and Sandy before Sandy went into rehab.  They liked her, called her “mom”, and want her back, in a sense seeing us as some super-dysfunctional family that must stick together to fight the fight.  We’re a team from the Hell of Abuse!

The third 19-year-old is worried about living with an addict who may not be recovered.  She decided to defer to the opinion of the other two.

In a group meeting, we came up with our request to Sandy:

- Absolutely no drugs.  First use results in immediate eviction.

- Sandy must give up ALL her old friends, for they are all addicts.

- Sandy must develop a group of women-friends who are committed to and fighting for recovery.  Those women are met in NA, AA, CA, etc.  She must attend meetings frequently.

Sandy gladly accepted the rules and stated she had already come up with those very same rules before we thought of them.

She’s comin’ home.

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Daniella Lugosi 1 by P3T3R KURT3N GROUPI3
Daniella Lugosi on MySpace
Published in:  on February 27, 2009 at 1:12 am Comments (2)