Mika

 

Photo is of Angelina from im_angelina’s photostream on Flickr.com

August 27, 2006

Damn, who is this Mika who has come out of nowhere and run over me like a freight train???

I never expected this.

She is absolutely the wrong girl for a number of reasons, but……

She is potent, lethal, and devastating!

Mika stuns with a perfection of features and form. Her body is toned, shapely, womanly, and young. Her face is angelic. Her hair is long, soft, and perfumed.

She presents herself in nicely fitting clothes with a natural, easy sexuality.

At her young age, she’s been bounced around quite a lot. It has made her very considerate of another’s feelings. She is very sweet and very soft and very gentle.

Mika is motion and movement! When she walks over to a desk, she stops, angles her tush in one direction, her head in another, and her eyes lights up in a smile as she looks at you.

When she trys on something new, she raises her arms over her head, spins around, cocks her body, and, with a huge smile, eyes twinkling, asks me if I like it.

Yes, I love it!!!

Dancers do know how to dance and how to smile!

She seems willing to offer what a woman provides in the way of touching, holding, and affection. Spending a full night together will reveal much.

She is able to talk about our relationship and her feelings. She is able to let me know where I stand, even though the relationship is so new.

But it’s easy to talk of a relationship so new that there are little demands on the other!

When we parted company yesterday, she kept hugging me. She wouldn’t let go! I can’t believe this relationship is real. I am keeping my guard up. I know so little about her.

It is extremely painful to want to allow full feelings for her, but be forced to hold them in due to worries that this relationship is not a real one.

Of those now available to me, she is priority by a wide margin.

I cannot believe that we will ever agree to stop seeing others. There’s just too much against us. She did claim that she is romantic with no other. I almost believe her, but not yet.

I told her that I felt as if I was cheating on her when I was out with Miss Rockford Friday night, even though I didn’t touch Miss Rockford. She says she has male friends who are just friends.

Damn, she better not be making emotional connections with those guys!!!

Logically she is about the most wrong choice I could make.

Her age is a major issue.

Her background indicating very serious dysfunction is a major issue. Maggie-level dysfunction, but without the drugs!

And I was crazy about Maggie, right?

But I’m not dysfunctional, right???

And she is soooo terrific!

Meeting Mika After Dinner

Photo is of Angelina from im_angelina’s photostream on Flickr.com

August 29, 2006

After dinner with Anastasia on Tuesday, August 29, I know that it’s trouble time. It’s Mika time. I know that I’m done for.

We meet at a Shell gas station at Austin and the Eisenhower. I have no idea why there. We are both white.

Waiting a few minutes, a car pulls up next to mine. It’s her. I glance at her, then quickly look the other way. I know that I have no control.

She slaps a CD of her music into my car’s stereo system. It’s a black dude singing rap and her singing to the black dude. She sings just like she is – young, soft, sweet, and very feminine.

As she listens to her music of her singing to the black dude about what she would like to do to his body all night, she’s blushes and says:

“Sweetie, I didn’t write that song!”

“Honey, is this the guy who’s “taken” and whom you wrote the song about being in love?”

“Oh, no! That’s an old relationship!”

“Honey, it can’t be an old relationship! You’re not old enough to have dated that much!”

This black dude who is “taken” has nine children with five different women. One of the women with three kids by the black dude has been trying to get Mika evicted from the group because she claims Mika is moving in on her man. Mika denies it and claims he is just a friend.

Yeah, right.

“Honey, you told me that you’d like to have a daughter who’s half black because mixed race little girls are so cute. Is this guy to be the father?”

“No, I’d get a sperm donor. Besides, I won’t do that anyway!”

Yeah, right.

If this black dude is the guy she wrote her love song about, she is risking losing her two greatest passions. She’s risking being evicted from her group by the jealous woman and risking losing contact with this guy. But maybe it’s not him.

Yeah, right.

As she sits in the car, she rests her perfect, tender, young hand on my arm. OMIGOD!!!

As I move my hand towards her midsection, she begins caressing my forearm.

I rest the back of my hand against her tiny tummy, just under one of her huge, natural 34 D’s.

I feel the softness of her body and her breast now touching the top of my hand. I am overwhelmed.

As she caresses my forearm, she moves her hand up my arm and massages my arm under the shirt sleeve.

She leans over and whispers in my ear:

“Honey, can we have dinner tomorrow night? I want to spend some time with you before I go home to Wisconsin!”

OMIGOD!!!

“Honey, I love you! Let’s have dinner! Anything you want!!!

I head home on top of the world!

Yeah, right!

Laying the Law Down to Mika

   

Photo is of Angelina from im_angelina’s photostream on Flickr.com

September 6, 2006

Wednesday Morning:

Mika is still waffling on going with me to see Hootie and the Blowfish Saturday night. She may be waffling her sweet, young ass right out of here. She’ll be here for dinner at 7:30 PM. We’ll talk. I’ll be very, very tough….until I see her.

Wednesday Afternoon:

I gotta end this Mika thing tonight. She’s driving me nuts with her stories. Maybe I should end it over the phone – NOW!!!

Damn! I called her. I ended it! I explained how her personal problems are affecting our private life – namely, we no longer have private time together! I told her that her suggestion that I call an escort really pissed me off. I prefer to be private with just one woman, and, with her predecessor gone, she has a job that needs to be done. I cancel her for tonight and for Saturday.

After three phone calls full of tears, she is able to put things back together. And guess what! I’m right back where I was! She’ll be over tonight. She doesn’t know if she can make it Saturday. And I have no hope of private time with someone I really care about in the near future!

Of course, it really gets to me when she cries! She may be too old. My own maturity level may be best suited to 18-year-olds!

Early Wednesday Evening:

Okay! Okay! I’ve had some time to settle down and think. Guess what! I’m pissed as hell! She’s gonna be monogamous or she’s gonna march her sweet, young, tight, ever-so-tender ass right outta here!

Damn! She sends a text message telling me what she’s wearing! Do they go to a school to learn this stuff? I have absolutely no hope!

Wednesday Evening at 7:30 PM:

She’s in my home wearing a skin-tight pink sleeveless Be Be shirt. The pink glitter shouts Be Be across her natural 34 D’s. She’s wearing skin-tight white Capri’s. Some bare mid-rift is showing. She does this little dance in my living room where her hands, spinning around one another, end up on one side of her body and her tush is cocked to the other side.

Any issues we had couldn’t have been that important, could they?

Oh, you’re willing to be monogamous?

Oh, you will definitely see Hootie with me Saturday?

And you’re spending the night Saturday?

You’ve never met anyone like me before? Wait a minute! You mean that in a good sense, right?

I can’t remember what we are fighting about, Honey. Can you?

What Happened Last Night?

 

Angelina from im_angelina’s photostream on Flickr.com

September 7, 2006

I awake this morning feeling content and peaceful.

I think that I’m in a monogamous relationship with Mika!

Our age difference isn’t as bad as the fifty years between Tony Randall and his last wife!

Our relationship is definitely legal, even outside of Utah!

She said she might move in in a few months.

When I didn’t respond when she mentioned that we eventually ought to adapt a baby together, I was thinking that we should try to make it through the next couple of weeks first. It feels really good that she thinks of me in time-frames that long!

As she spends every other weekend with her child in northern Wisconsin, she said I could still go out with my female friends those weekends. Maybe I don’t want to, Honey.

This morning, as I’m pouring out my heart to her of all the emotions I feel for her, she responds:

“This house has an attic. I wonder what’s in the attic?”

“The attic, honey” You wanna talk about the attic?” Did she hear anything I just said?

“Yes, I want to know what’s up there.”

“Oh!”

My daughter wonders aloud if Mika is old enough to take a bath without adult supervision. I wonder why I would ever want her to take a bath without my supervision!

I can imagine the next visit to my therapist! (As if I need one!)

He’ll be sitting in his huge stuffed chair with two walls of glass opening up to beautiful preserved wetlands behind him. With his closely-cropped beard, he looks like a younger and more handsome Dr. Freud.

“Now Mike, how old did you say she is?”

As I answer, he’ll be fighting for control of his expression. His face will not move, but his eyes will widen. He will pretend that I have not affected him at all.

He will ask:

“Mike, do you think that you can have a full relationship with someone of this age?”

I will give my stock reply:

“But she’s cute, Dr. Professor!”

Friday With Mika

 

“Decked Out 01″ from im_angelina’s photostream on Flickr.com

September 8, 2006

On her birthday, Mika is spending the day with me. 

She’s late for breakfast, so we head right to the dentist after she opens her gifts.  She loves her Lindt chocolate, champaign, diamond-encrusted eternity circle on a chain, and the clothes we buy later that day at the Woodfield Mall.  She chooses Ruby Tuesday’s for lunch and the food is eminently forgettable!

She forgives me for not having the killer demon weed I had ordered.  My supplier is an upper-level Puerto Rican functionary in the Latin Kings and he is rumored to have potent product.  He left his wife in such good straights that she is now offering $20 BJ’s on the north side and she has become the stereotypical crack whore.  His daughter started hooking at age 12 and is now, at age 18, a $325 per hour internet escort.  She is not fresh and new.

I promise Mika the product tomorrow.

I am impressed with how sweet, affectionate, and genuine Mika seems to be.  Can she be as wonderful as she seems?

May be ending up with Anastasia and Mika.  Mika is still too new for me to know if she’ll be around awhile.

The Dream That Is Mika

Photo is of Angelina from im_angelina’s photostream on Flickr.com

September 10, 2006

Her body is young, tender, and perfectly formed with natural 34 D’s, a tiny waist, and the pretty toned legs of the dancer that she is.

When she’s alone with her man, it’s more than a romantic encounter.

It’s a religious experience that transcends the simple union of two bodies becoming one.

Alone with her, looking at her, he sees his young angel smiling.

He sees a determined look on her face as she senses a challenge to his completion of their union.

He sees her devilish grin,

Thigh muscles flexing,

Tummy muscles working,

Muscles in her arms supporting her upper body as she leans back,

Full, womanly breasts dominating his vision,

Breasts full yet firm with perfect shapeliness,

Tender, young, manicured hands,

Her perfect, young, very young, face,

Entrancing hazel eyes,

Long, soft, perfumed hair.

This is the Dream that is Mika!

This moment is not a simple act of reproduction.

It is the moment for which Man was made.

It is the moment of fulfilling one’s purpose,

Of truly being in tune with what Nature has ordained.

It is sublime peacefulness of union with a perfect young woman.

It is oneness with Mika and with the Universe.

This is the Dream that is Mika.

My Mika

Photo is of Angelina from im_angelina’s photostream on Flickr.com 

September 12, 2006

“Honey, give me your hand”

Her palm now rests upon my open palm, and I say:

“Honey, look at your hand. Look at how perfectly formed it is! Look at how shapely it is! Honey, every part of your body is just like this hand, perfectly formed in beautiful detail!”

She pulls her hand away and gives me an embarrassed grin.

I gently take her head in both my hands and look into her everchanging, gorgeous eyes.

“Honey, your body is not the best part of you.”

“It’s your incredible sweetness. Damn, honey, I love how sweet and caring you are!”

It’s your intelligence. I LOVE how you talk to me!”

“I love the bond we already seem to have formed. I love that you call me constantly. I love how you talk over all the details of your life with me!”

“Honey, we seem to be partners. We seem to be a team. Baby, we seem to be together!!!”

I still get lovesick.

Things went so well with Mika yesterday that I woke up this morning with my lower throat and upper chest sore. It’s clearly NOT an illness. I know that I’m lovesick.

This chick has hit me like a ton of bricks. She keeps opening up and letting me more and more into her life.

I decided long ago to give plenty of space and avoid any control with any women I date. I wanted them to be with me because they wanted to be.

Well, it didn’t work. They ALL ran off with other guys!!!

Or succumbed to the Lady Cocaine.

Till the Little Sailor Girl.

She was the best I had ever met and she kept coming back. Our relationship was ended by her going off to war.

Now, Mika is coming back. The more space I give her, the more she wants to be with me. It feels really good.

To Have a Girl Like Her Is Truly a Dream Come True

 

Photo is of Angelina from im_angelina’s photostream on Flickr.com

September 16, 2006

Friday evening led to a new level of feelings for Mika.

It was an evening of talking and just being with one another. It was an evening of cuddling and holding.

I cannot keep my hands off her tiny tummy. When I place one open hand on her tummy, the other on her back, luxuriating in the tightness of her body, she straightens her form.

Her stomach muscles tighten, and my hand revels in touching her. As she straightens, her midsection becomes so slender and the mounds of her breasts become so large. Her shape is awesome and womanly.

She was wearing a colorful bright top, full of reds and golds. The top was low cut, and her very young, full, firm breasts were overpowering. Her Capri jeans were tight and her cuffs had the same bright color scheme as her top.

She came into my home, as she has her own keys. I cracked my bedroom door to say hello, and was overpowered with her beauty. I was stunned. She looked healthy, rosy, relaxed, and stress-free, in addition to being incredibly beautiful.

Our relationship seems to not stand in the way of her fully blossoming.

Just out of the shower, I was clad only in a towel. She insisted on coming into the bathroom. She smiled, and told me how cute I look. God has given me the most gorgeous of women and, thank God, she has terrible vision!

Her eyes!!!

Her eyes!!!

Her eyes!!!

I very gently took her perfect, young face into my hands. I held her and talked of the life we had before we met and how we would help one another to personal growth. I told her that I would never allow the abuse and difficulties she once had in her life to ever happen to her again.

All the while, I am looking at those beautiful, ever-changing, intoxicating eyes. All the while she is listening with a look of love and of wonder in her eyes.

Mika no longer teases men for a living. She is instead in school full-time.

I know that I do not deserve Mika. I know that no Man on this planet deserves Mika.

I do wonder what the future holds. Will this end like all the others? Am I doomed to a life of Loves and Loves Lost?

Concentrating on making each of us strong and independent will allow each of us to continue after any breakup.

There is no other choice.

Damn, I’m wild about this woman!

Alone With Mika

 

Photo is of Angelina from im_angelina’s photostream on Flickr.com

September 17, 2006

I need some cuddling, and I ask Mika to adjourn to the bedroom.

She pulls off her shoes and jeans, leaving only a white Be Be top with glittering rhinestones.

“Honey, you’re not wearing underwear!!!”

I am answered only with a big smile.

As she lies on her belly, I am stunned by her small, shapely tush and toned legs. She is Perfection Itself. A peace comes over me. Is there anything better?

I give her a back massage and she almost falls asleep. Later, she props herself on her elbows and rubs the sleep from her big eyes with her small, tender hands. She is like a fawn awakening to the world. Naked from the waist down, she is Innocence Herself!

On another evening, we are having a private moment. She is having a great time and, although I know that I’m a part of this, it somehow seems that she’d be having a great time even if I wasn’t there. Her eyes are in somewhat of a trance, and her hands are roaming everywhere.

Honey, I’m here too!!!

I look at her. This is a young woman with a wild natural sexuality right here in my presence.

Evolution has wired us to covet young women with perfect symmetry, as symmetry is evidence of good genes for reproduction.

And here I am looking at a perfectly-formed young woman with an incredible body and the face of an angel!

I look at her, I see her in a trance-like state, and I am completely overcome.

Millions of years of evolution take over, and I am in a state of supreme bliss. This is the moment for which a man’s body is made!!! This is the Woman for whom every Man throughout Eternity has dreamed!

So I cannot stop talking.

I tell her how much I love her, that she is the most perfect woman who has ever existed, that she is all I’ve ever wanted, and on and on.

Her eyes are awakened from their trance. She looks me directly in my eyes, her eyes being an incredible cobalt blue at that moment. She lowers her face to mine, raises her perfect finger to her soft pink lips, lips pink with the freshness of youth, and says “Ssshhhhhh!!!”

I am intoxicated with feelings for her, and she doesn’t want to hear it!!!

I am overcome by her face being so near mine and the beauty of that young finger against those naturally pink lips, so I shut up as ordered.

I wish women would talk to me.

The Hurt Within

 

Photo is of Angelina from im_angelina’s photostream on Flickr.com

September 18, 2006

Having been a dancer at such a tender age is evidence of serious mistreatment in her past.

Mika says she may never be able to tell me about it.

I tell her that she is incredible right now.

I tell her that she may be able to open up to me slowly over time.

She knows that, the more I learned of Maggie’s real past, the more I loved Maggie, and the less I judged her.

Love is knowing all there is to know about someone, and loving her more than ever.

Mika may be young enough to recover from whatever happened in the past.

She did mention one thing to me ever so briefly. It so stunned me that I could not react or ask any questions. I wanted to pretend that it was nothing, that everything in my mind associated with what she told me didn’t happen to my Mika.

But my mind races ahead. Unfortunately, I’ve heard these stories before. This couldn’t have happened to my baby! How bad was it? I’m nauseated with my mind racing ahead with thoughts of what could have happened, and maybe did happen.

And Honey, if that happened, what terrible things happened to you to get you there?

Honey, it’s the future that counts. We can get through this together.

She loves the idea of professional help. She’ll get started soon. Hell, I go (as if I need it!!!), and it’s great.

It is an honor to be allowed to support this Angel on her journey and to support her efforts to quash her own demons.

Somehow caring about her allows me to leave self-focus and gives me a sense of well-being. Somehow Mika is quashing mine own demons.