Kalashnikov

Kalashnikov

General Kalashnikov
 Tuesday, October 13, 2009:

What kills 250,000 people each and every year?

What is known as the African credit card, as in “don’t leave home without it”.

Whose image graces a nation’s flag?

The AK-47 Kalashnikov assault rifle, of course!

mozambique-flag

The Flag of Mozambique

Kalashnikov was a Tank Commander under the unstoppable Russian General Zhukov.  He was part of some of the most fierce battles in history in Russia’s effort to defeat the Nazis.  He was severely wounded.

Born in 1919, he turns 90 on November 10.  Both as a young man and as an old, he looks like he should.  He looks sooo Russian!

He designed the AK-47 after being shot by two German soldiers.  No one was gonna shoot him anymore!

Separately, he designed a modification to a Russian pistol to make it more effective when jumping on a German tank and firing through the tank’s slits.  Can you imagine the action he must have seen to be motivated to come up with such a design?

And now, from deep within Mother Russia, the very same man who brought you the AK-47 brings you the most potent liquid ever to linger on a Russian virgin’s lips:

Kalashnikov Vodka

At 41 abv, the vodka is known as “Military Strength“.

Kalashnikov had the final word on everything, including the taste.

My Russian former girlfriend Kate, born and raised in the Imperial Capital of Russia, always said “A Russian without vodka is like grass without water!”.

Everything is as it should be.

Published in: on October 13, 2009 at 8:00 am Leave a Comment

A World-Acclaimed Beauty

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Zlati of Bulgaria
Monday, July 28, 2008: 

The Czars of all the Russias followed by the Soviets developed the Arts and Sciences to their highest levels.  From the Kirov Ballet to classically-trained musicians to an army that could defeat Napolean and Hitler, the Russians excelled at anything they chose.

The Soviets and their allied states presented to the world some of  the most beautiful women in history as evidence of the grandeur and superiority of the Communist system.

Drawing from Central and Eastern European women, the Communists developed a core of perfect women that astonished onlookers with their beauty, poise, sophistication, and elegance.  The world was in awe of the Communist women on display.  They modeled around the world in various fashion shows.

And her name is Desislava.

She is Bulgarian!

Not surprisingly, she has a good photo she uses to entice prospective internet dates.  Yet the photo is nothing compared to her beauty and sexuality in person.

A visitor sits on her couch, gazing at her, wondering what in the hell he is doing in the presence of this world-class beauty.  Her two previous long-term relationships in America have been with men of immense wealth.  Yet the two chat together non-stop for seven hours.

Her ancient Afghan hound dog is asleep on a different couch, age rendering him almost motionless.  Desislava likes that her visitor does not complain when two of her dogs jump on him and lick his face.  The visitor likes that the pit bull who tried to take off his hand upon arrival is leashed in the garage.

And the visitor sits there for hours, looking at her and mesmerized by what once was and what is.

Her skirt rides up as she sits on the couch.  Her skin is unusually creamy.  Her legs are astonishing, long and perfectly-shaped by genetics with muscles formed by expensive exercise equipment.  At age 43, her perfectly manicured hands can pass for those of a youngster.

Her eyes, big and blue, have entranced thousands, and have witnessed much.  She has been squired all over the world by private jet.  Two Bulgarian Secret Service agents were assigned to each model for their protection and to insure the models did not flee.

As a teenager, her income was thirty-three times that of a Bulgarian doctor.

Offered wealth and marriage by the princes of Europe and the sons of captains of industry, she instead married for love.  She married her Bulgarian sweetheart.

He was a drunk and a womanizer.

In her early twenties while traveling to foreign capitals, she became tired of reading of his drunken escapades with hookers in Sofia.  The newspapers did not identify him by name, but as the husband of famous model Desislava.

She was humiliated!

At the age of 25, she fled to New York City and worked for the Elite Agency.  She did get some assignments, but was too old to start afresh as a model in America.

Eighteen years later, she works long hours at a boutique she owns.  Her home is modest.

Men who once couldn’t even dream of being allowed in her presence may now take her to dinner.

Seneca did take her out a couple of times.

azlati3

Zlati of Bulgaria
Published in: on October 11, 2009 at 8:00 am Leave a Comment

Veronica

Veronica - Mia

Friday, August 7, 2009:

Seneca has long known that Latinas are special and different, but he couldn’t put his finger on why.  The few he has known-well have been worthy of love.  They are real women, proud of it, intense, and sexual.  They know how to treat a man!

His new friend is in Chicago for only several months.  She returns to Lima, Peru in February.

The Good Lord has given him a severe allergy to age-appropriate women, and she is younger than he by the number of stars in the Milky Way.  He lives by God’s Will.

Their relationship of two weeks is not sexual and may never be.  She is totally fulfilling as she is.  There was a day when a man could enjoy a woman’s company for months and years without demanding more.  He sometimes lives in that day.

His live-in East European roommate Lucky captures a man’s body with raw sexuality and a jiggle of her breasts.  His Latina captures a man totally with the flash of her eyes, a shy smile, and with intelligence, class and elegance.  She’s much more to his liking.

He will not claim they’ll be friends for the next several months, but he sure hopes they will be. She has chosen him for her love of live theater, live music, and his sometimes frequent attendance at functions of the Chicago Council on Foreign Relations.  It does help that he picks up the tab.

A young stud muffin may show up and steal her heart, but he does not worry.  He is always faced with that.  It does really hurt when it happens.  But the stud muffin may not share her interests as he does.  Furthermore, she’s not in Chicago for a relationship, but primarily to visit family and secondarily to experience Chicago.

His Latina is magical.  She is starry-eyed and not yet beaten down by life.  Her hopes still soar to the Heavens and she still knows that everything will be okay.  It is his job to nurture her and to watch her flower.

After all that, his goal is to make it with her for one more week.

When she leaves in February, maybe he’ll grow up.

You know he won’t.

Everything is as it should be.

Nothing will ever change.

No one will ever die.

Veronica

Published in: on September 28, 2009 at 8:00 am Leave a Comment

What Do You Say to a Hottie at a Liquor Store?

Emily

Emily” by Titus Powell
Friday, September 25, 2009:

Elaina wonders what men would say to a woman in the below situation and how our responses would change as we age:

The Situation:

A sexy woman is in front of a man in line at a liquor store.  She turns to him, bats her long eyelashes, and says “SOMEBODY has good taste!” referring to his choice of whiskey.

A Reply:

Rich and Pretty, a male LA attorney, says he would respond at various ages as follows:

At age 21:  “Thanks, my wife likes it too.”

At age 31:  “Thanks, my second wife likes it too.”

At age41:  “Thanks, my third wife likes it too.”

At age 51:  “How much for an hour?”

EmilyDance

“Emily Dance” by Titus Powell
Published in: on September 25, 2009 at 8:00 am Leave a Comment

Frequency

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Nicole
Sunday, September 20, 2009:

Seneca’s Therapist (as if he needs one!):  “How often do the two of you have sex?”

Seneca:  “We NEVER have sex! I bet it’s only twice a week!”

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Nicole

Girlfriend’s Therapist:  “How often do the two of you have sex?”

Girlfriend:  “We have sex CONSTANTLY! I bet it’s twice a week!”

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Nicole
Published in: on September 20, 2009 at 1:12 pm Leave a Comment

Manteno Mental Hospital – Phone Menu

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 wwmd by =P3T3R-KURT3N-GROUPI3
August 17, 2009:

From Sushiman -

Hello and thank you for calling the Mantino State Hospital.

Please select from the following menu:

- If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

- If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

- If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

- If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.  We’re coming to get you.

- If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

- If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully.  A little voice will tell you which number to press.

- If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press.  Nothing will make you happy anyway.

- If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

- If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep.  Please wait for the beep.

- If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.  If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.  If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

- If you have low self-esteem, please hang up.  Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

- If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.  You won’t be crazy forever.

- If you are blonde, don’t press any buttons.  You’ll just mess it up.

Published in: on September 16, 2009 at 10:43 am Leave a Comment

You Were Young, So Very Young.

1801_1mashki.ru
Early Wednesday Morning, July 22, 2009:

I just posted the below on Craigslist Personals, Cincinnati, Men Seeking Women.  I want to find her.

TITLE: Want to Find You. You Were Young, So Very Young.

It was within a year or two of 1984.

It was very early one morning, about 1:00 am.  You were hitch-hiking to work.  I picked you up at Exit 4 in Toledo.  You worked at a massage parlor that offered more than massages.  You hated your job.

I believe you were under 18.  I never touched you, and I never tried to.

I was in a new Porsche 911, burgundy in color.  You remember me as Mike from Chicago.

I helped you financially via wires from Western Union.  I encouraged you to go home to Mom.  I think she was in Cincinnati.  You finally allowed me to finance that move.

I only called you once when you got home.  Your Mom didn’t like me calling.  I wonder if she ever told you I called.

Tell me that you’re okay, Baby Girl!  I’ve often thought about you and wondered about you.  You’re a bit older now, and so am I, but you’re still my Baby Girl!

You had no ID, so we used a test question at Western Union so you could pick up the money.  So I know it’s you, tell me the name of your favorite cereal.

Love,

Mike

Published in: on July 22, 2009 at 1:43 am Leave a Comment

Simply Irresistible

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Olga
Saturday, April 11, 2009:

Some women who live in the former Soviet bloc are willing to give up a lifetime of family and friends for a strange man in a strange country.  Is it really better here?

America may have more possessions, including larger cars and nicer houses, but we are materialists!

I would guess that Olga’s evenings are spent with family and friends and not in front of a TV set.

She is so beautiful she will be sought-after wherever she goes.  I did answer her email, but more as a friend.

Okay, maybe I love her!!!

She writes:

Hi Mike!!!

I am a big optimist and romantic.  I still belive in love.  I am very happy with my son.  I love him very much, but I have so much more love in my soul and my heart that I need to share it with somebody.  I am honest, serious, loyal, kind and I need respect and care.  I am looking for a serious man between 40-60 old.

Can you tell me more about yourself ???

If you write to me more, then I shall speak to you more about my life and interests and will send more pictures.

I am dreaming about meeting with a decent man who also wants to have a serious relationship.

I am romantic and I believe in love.  I think that, in a relationship, trust and respecting each other is very important.  I am looking for exactly these qualities in my future husband.  I hope that you also will speak to me about your life ,ok ? I shall wait your answer. 

Olga

PS – If you really are interested, then write to me more about yourself and please don’t forget to send me your picture, ok ???  and what do you think if we live so far away ?  I am thinking if all will be good and we will feel love, then I am will relocate to you, ok ?

PSS – I am 32 and live in Russia

Olga

The ever-delusional Seneca responds:

Hi Olga, 

You are so very beautiful, but the distance makes this so difficult. 

Why do you want to live in America? 

What city do you live in? 

I have dated two Russians, Kate and Anastasia.  Both are beautiful, almost as beautiful as you!  Kate is from St. Petersburg and Anastasia is from Sakhalin Island.  I am friends with Deanna from Moscow. 

I love the Eifman, Kirov, and Bolshoi Ballets. 

My photo is enclosed.

Mike

Seneca’s response is not the all-out frontal assault a Chicago girl would get.  It’s perhaps reflects his disbelief at anything coming of this.

Published in: on April 11, 2009 at 11:23 pm Leave a Comment

I picked up this A-Rab girl doing the Sukhumvit stroll one night here in Bangkok…

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Princess Dubai

The Legend Himself, the IronWorker, writes from Bangkok on April 1, 2009:

She was from one of the former Soviet Republics, probably Uzbekistan.  She was Muslim, and ethnically Arab.  That was four years ago.   I was 55 then (ah, to be “young” again, LOL).  I would guess she was about 21 or so.  She paid me a real compliment!  After about an hour of multi-position mattress-wrestling, she said: “…You kinda old, like my Grandpapa, but you much nicer in bed than my Grandpapa…”

Ah, it’s nice when the young ones pay an old man a compliment, now isn’t it?

Signed,

The IronWorker

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Princess Dubai
Published in: on April 2, 2009 at 1:55 am Leave a Comment

Redoubt Volcano Eruption in Alaska

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View west of the east flank of Redoubt volcano and ash-covered terrain from recent eruptions.  Picture Date: March 31, 2009   Image Creator: McGimsey, Game

A Friend Writes from Anchorage on March 30, 2009 (Edited):

Air travel has been spotty and has closed down at times!  A friend who lives here has been stuck in Vietnam for two weeks and is awaiting the all-clear signal for a safe return!

Everyone remembers the almost-disaster in 1989 when a  jet had ALL four engines stalled at 40,000 feet due to volcanic dust!  It was almost certain DEATH for all on board as the pilot dove the plane straight DOWN thousands of feet trying to restart ash-clogged engines  One engine finally ignited and leveled the plane off.  The lives of all on board were saved!  It was horror for all those facing death on the plane!  The plane was a total loss!

We had a fair dusting of ash on Saturday and five inches of new snow last night.  So beautiful!  The ash irritates one’s eyes and throat and gives one a headache.  Wearing a mask and goggles does help!

Machinery including cars must be cared for!  A simple nylon stocking over the air cleaner of the car can do the trick!  Ash in the car’s engine block means a destroyed engine!

Heating systems that intake outside air may not be run because of the ash.  It is still quite cold up here so heat can be a problem for some!  I have in-floor modern heat myself though!

Sunsets and sunrises are beautiful due to the ash in the atmosphere.  Different views for sure!  There are RAPID changes day-by-day.  I’m so GLAD to be here and experience all the adventure, year after year.  The varying extremes over short distances, space, and time are so cool, for sure!

Nature is the GOD!!!

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View to the east of the summit crater of Redoubt volcano, heavily covered with deposits from recent eruptions. The near ridge, right of the notch, is the upper reach of the Crescent Glacier on the southwest flank. Picture Date: March 31, 2009 Image Creator: McGimsey, Game

 

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 Redoubt eruption column, as seen on the way to Kenai from Nikiski.  Picture Date: March 28, 2009
 Image Creator: Hagstrom-Sanger, Leigh

 

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Ash and steam cloud from Redoubt volcano as seen from Cannery Road in Kenai.  Picture Date: March 31, 2009 19:15:00 AKDT  Image Creator: Sutton, Neil
Published in: on April 1, 2009 at 9:20 pm Leave a Comment