From Bliss She Will Fall by P3T3R-KURT3N-GROUPI3

Tuesday, December 22, 2009:

Normally O’Hare is business-like, with men and women scurrying about.  Today it’s packed with holiday travellers in good spirits.  Security lines are long but friendly. 

A tall, slender, 25-ish male with wrap-around sunglasses strides past.  With an effeminate gait, his arms are somewhat out-stretched and seemingly float up and down.  His shoulder bag is a reddish-brown and his fingernails are painted cyan-blue.

I sit at a counter and intend to order a Chicago-style hot dog.  The withered 60-ish woman sitting next to me slams down beers.

My overweight, 40-something Mexican bartender/server ignores me and takes orders from new arrivals standing behind me.  I finally shout my order to him.

The other bartender/server is a 60-ish Vietnam veteran with a huge stomach.  His stomach spills over his belt, causing the white lining of his pants to be exposed above the belt.  He tells an active duty soldier, young, tall, and trim, the nuances of dropping bombs from slow-flying aircraft.

Is one looking at his past?  The other, his future?

I receive the below joking email on my Blackberry phone from a new acquaintance:

“I’m at O’Hare and my flight has been delayed twice.  I’ve had 3 hours of sleep and my socks are wet and I just saw a married man I’ve been dating **With His Family**.  Please tell me your not flying United because I might just have to take you in the damn bathroom and blank your brains out ’cause I’m so frustrated right now.  I need a *RELEASE*!  Is that a crime?  Kissssses my Lover, xOxOxO.
*I’m praying for your family* God bless you, Mike Seneca.”

Seneca responds in her spirit:

“I’m on an American flight and am frantically trying to get my flight changed to United!”

Seneca thinks to the trip ahead.

He’s headed to the desert

to ask his mother

to come home

to die.

Vietnamese Model Thuy Top

Monday, December 14, 2009:

Conversation in the car this morning:

Bonnie:  “Mike, I found a really nice apartment in Hyde Park.  Will you take me to see it?”

Seneca, careful to not show the slightest bit of emotion:  “Sure, honey.”

Bonnie:  “It’ll suck to have a roommate!”

Seneca:  “Tell me about it!”

Bonnie laughs.

So the little girl is looking to move out, as Seneca always knew she would.

Her commute from Seneca’s place is time-consuming, and involves a drive chauffeured by Seneca to the train, then a Metra train to Union Station, and finally a CTA bus.

After dropping Bonnie off at the train this morning, Seneca sends her the following email:

“I hide emotion, but your mentioning that you wanted to look at that apartment hit me hard.”

Bonnie responds:

I’m sorry if my talking about moving hurts.  Believe me, it’s not the easiest thing for me either.  I’m used to you and accept the good and the bad.  You’ve helped me out more than you ever had to and you still do so much for me.  I’ll miss you terribly, but my moving doesn’t mean I’ll stop talking to you.  I’m scared as hell to leave, but it’s the sad reality that has to happen eventually.  I just need you to be supportive of this and just know that it’s for the best.  

You truly are a wonderful person with a great heart.  Even if you are the world’s hugest asshole every now and then.  haha.  :)

Seneca’s grown accustomed to the little girl!

“Hayley Jessica Rabbit” by Titus Powell

Thursday Evening, December 3, 2009:

The following text message exchange took place this evening:

Lucky: “I’m back working for Joe.”

Seneca:  “That makes me very sad.”

Seneca took Lucky in last May for a number of reasons. 

He was overwhelmed with her startling sexuality and allure. 

In conversation, she focuses directly on the man.  The two are seemingly all that exists.  It is easy for a man’s mind to be possessed by her.

Also, Seneca wanted to get her out of the business before she was destroyed  She had had only four appointments.  Working for Joe means being a high-end escort.

She had to get blind drunk, to feel numb, before she could face any client.

With the exception of Mika, Seneca’s efforts to help his female friends live a non-destructive lifestyle have been failures.

Feelin’ sad

“Heidi Lough” by Titus Powell

“Alone Heidi Face” by Titus Powell

Thursday, November 26, 2009:

Seneca dropped off his roommate Bonnie, age 22, in the early afternoon at her girlfriend’s for Thanksgiving dinner.  She said she wanted to be home by 10:00 pm. Seneca forgot to ask which day.  She turned up Saturday.  Something about Demon Rum!

Seneca’s expected Thanksgiving/Christmas partner and friend of eight years, Anastasia, age 38, went the Los Angeles area to chase some new stud muffin.  After Thanksgiving dinner in her hotel’s restaurant with him Thursday evening, she realized she made a mistake.  She went to her room to supposedly pick up her clothes to accompany him home, but instead called him to say it just wasn’t going to work.  She spent the weekend in Newport Beach without him.

Maggie, age 38, is with Seneca about half the holidays, but not this one. She’s got a new boyfriend named, of all things, Mike.  Seneca has met him and likes him.  He says he’ll have her completely off heroin by Christmas.  Maggie snorts and does not inject.  She now has a $10 a day habit, down from $100 a day 6-9 months ago.  Because he’s a former addict and understands this stuff, he just may do it.  Her drop in drug usage is due primarily to a stint in the hospital for pneumonia, where the staff began to wean her off heroin with suboxone.   She’s looking REALLY good, much better than in the last few years.  Wearing a baseball cap, her blue eyes are like huge jewels.

Sweet, sweet Mika, age 24, lives five hours north and Seneca never sees her.  They used to talk twice a day, but now only once.  The father of her baby, due February 1, is taking time away from Seneca, as is appropriate.  The guy seems to be crazy about her (who isn’t?), but only earns minimum wage.  It must be incredible to be in a relationship with a perfectly formed young woman who is full of spunk and sassy.  She’s really great!

Seneca’s 19-year-olds, Reena and Lida, are now 20, and are still perfect!  Because of their youth, they were never romantic relationships.

Reena went to northern Michigan to be with family. 

Lida is lost to a stud muffin who is a jerk.  She will eventually return.  When she lived with Seneca, she gave up stripping and went to school.  Now, needing to support her jobless muffin, she has given up school and strips in an all-nude club.  It greatly saddens Seneca.

“Alone Nino Harrods” by Titus Powell

“Stripes Zuzanna 3″ by Titus Powell

Sunday Evening, November 22, 2009:

Seneca was up all night, thinking about Maggie, thinking about everything.

Vince was here with Bonnie, increasing Seneca’s separation from Bonnie.

With Bonnie distant in every way except actual, Mika five hours north, and Reena truly his child, not a girlfriend, he misses Maggie.

When his current relationships fail, he always misses Maggie.

He thinks of the heights to which people like Lou Reed and Eric Clapton have soared in spite of their heroin addictions, and he sees some of that in Maggie.  Sinking to the depths, having a life as hard as can be, has made her more

sweet,

non-judgmental,

vulnerable,

and lovable.

Awakening with a blurry mind, he sees the Darkness and looks at the clock.  It’s 5:45.  But he thought he went to bed at 6:00 am.  Could it be 5:45 pm and he’s lost a day?

He walks through the Darkness and finds Bonnie’s room is dark and she’s asleep.  It must be 5:45 am.  He’s not hungry, so he must not have slept long.  Yet he’s so very thirsty.  But he thinks he went to bed at 6:00 am, so how could it be 5:45 am?

He looks through the sliding glass doors to the covered pool wrapped in a foggy mist.  Is it morning or is it evening?

Stumbling in his own Darkness, he returns to his room and turns on the computer.

It’s 5:45 pm.

He did lose a day!

“Stripes Zuzanna 2″ by Titus Powell